Saturday, November 7, 2015

The Noblest of Virtues

   “If ingratitude be numbered among the serious sins, then gratitude takes its place among the noblest of virtues.” -President Thomas S. Monson

I could end with just that. 

   If you were to wake up one morning, only to have the things that you thanked God for the previous night, what would still be there?

   I try to think of this every time I pray, but I still wouldn’t wake up with even a fraction of what I have today. As scary as this statement might seem - it’s our reality. If we're not grateful and don't recognize our blessings, we kinda forget they’re there - and isn’t that the same as not having them at all?

   There’s a statement from Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf that helped me survive my mission: “No matter our circumstances, no matter our challenges or trials, there is something in each day to embrace and cherish. There is something in each day that can bring gratitude and joy if only we will see and appreciate it.”

   In the worst of my depression, I started a gratitude journal - strictly for times I laughed that day and any tender mercies I saw. I would re-read entries 3 times a day for weeks, and I still cleave to it. I was in the worst state physically, mentally, emotionally - but when I took the time to let my Spirit recognize just small blessings - it changed my outlook and helped me take on one day, one hour at a time. There have been studies done that show how a grateful heart can affect the brain. It won’t completely heal depression, I still struggle with it even on my most grateful of days, but it quickly brings the Spirit which heals any broken heart. 

   One of the neat thing about counting our blessings is that they’re truths - they’re very real, very tangible mercies that are ever present. They’re truths from God - just like the scriptures, so why don’t depend on them as such?

   One of the most optimistic, gratitude filled quotes I’ve read is that of L. R. Knost: “Life is amazing. And then it’s awful. And then it’s amazing again. And in between the amazing and the awful it’s ordinary and mundane and routine. Breathe in the amazing, hold on through the awful, and relax and exhale during the ordinary. That’s just living heartbreaking, soul-healing, amazing awful, ordinary life. And it’s breathtakingly beautiful.”

   I often look back at my gratitude journal and am disappointed that I wasn’t more grateful, especially through my hard times. If I compare my gratitude journal to my actual journal, they’re polar opposites, even for the same days. One journal entry reads:
 “Don’t even know where to start. I’m just a mess. We were out all day - got nowhere with no one. My anxiety was at an all time high and it wouldn’t let me talk to people. Felt super awkward street contacting. A dog almost attacked us. President and Sister Craig called us - they had just gotten off the phone with mom. She was up late last night and dad’s freaking out. Sister Craig said they’re going to do everything they can for me and Mom and Dad are on my side, but I still broke down sobbing and cried myself to sleep.” 
That exact same day, my gratitude journal reads this:
“The elders were making fun of their day on the bike and made me laugh a lot. We had the car today! Sister Call is the best, I’m so blessed to have her as a companion. Went to Sister Link’s and she just makes me feel so helpful and more like the Sister Carr I want to become. Felt so much peace listening to my David Archuleta CD. President and Sister Craig are the best.” 

   Absolutely nothing but blessings. And it’s funny because I remember nothing about that dog almost attacking us or the phone call with the Craigs, but I do remember feeling good serving Sister Link and the funny comment the elders made. It’s the blessings that I remember and there's always blessings to be counted. Gratitude has changed me - it completely erases the negative. 

   Even on the plane ride home, as soon as the plane wheels left Florida ground, an overwhelming feeling of gratitude hit me. Even though that land brought the hardest experiences I've ever faced - I had been haunted with PTSD for months, was so depressed that I was a completely different person, had faced some of my worst nightmares and some of the meanest people I've ever met - that land represented my living hell and I hated it. Every face I met flashed through my mind, the wards that loved me, the lives that I've seen changed, all those that had forever changed me. I felt so much gratitude for them and that I was able to leave all my blood, sweat, and tears in that land. Grateful that I had accomplished all I needed to and for the people that had helped me along the way. All the hatred left and for the first time in a while, I was completely filled with peace. 

“If ingratitude be numbered among the serious sins, then gratitude takes its place among the noblest of virtues.” Thomas S. Monson


5 comments:

  1. Love this perspective!!! And I love seeing your journal entries from the same day. I have been meaning to make a gratitude journal for like forever. What is my problem? I love you!

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  2. I have always thought of scriptures as the journals of our prophets. They record their blessings and learning from God. A gratitude journal is like your personal scripture. You can go back during your hard times and reach each of these sources for experiences of how God interacts with His children.

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  3. "If you were to wake up one morning, only to have the things that you thanked God for the previous night, what would still be there?" Beautiful insight! Your side by side journal writings teach a powerful lesson. Thank you for sharing your story, Chelsea.

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  4. Thank you! My husband challenged me to keep a gratitude journal over a year ago. It's made such a difference to me. Some days I have to think a little harder to find something to write about. That just makes me stronger in practicing gratitude.

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  5. I just watched your episode on "The 3rd hour of power" thanks for sharing your experiences.

    I recently started a Gratitude journal and I can see what type of person I want to be...And I love seeing your journal entries from the same day.

    Cheers,
    Cassia

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