I am a Child of God.

     Ben Hooper was the governor of Tennessee from 1911-1915. He was born to a single mother and grew up as the mock of the town because he had no father. He said 

     "‘I used to go off by myself at recess and during lunchtime because the taunts of my playmates. What was worse was going downtown on Saturday afternoon and feeling every eye burning a hole through you. They were all wondering just who my real father was.'     One Sunday, a new preacher came to town. Ben tried to slip out of church early to avoid getting stuck in the crowd. Before he got out the door, he felt a hand on his shoulder, and turned to see the preacher looking right at him.     ‘Who are you, son? Whose boy are you?’     ‘I felt the old weight come on me. It was like a big black cloud. Even the preacher was putting me down. But as he looked down at me, studying my face, he began to smile a big smile of recognition. ‘Wait a minute,’ he said, ‘I know who you are. I see the family resemblance. You are a son of God.’With that he slapped me across the rump and said, ‘Boy you’ve got a great inheritance. Go and claim it.’    ‘That was the most important single sentence ever said to me.’”

     We are children of God. One of the most important truths we have, one that we take for granted, we are children of our Heavenly Father. This means that He doesn’t just sit there and govern from above - He’s actively involved in our lives. He cares about us, protects us, and wants us to return to Him. This basic truth gives us so much worth and a sense of belonging above anything that we can build for ourselves.

     In this past General Women’s Conference, Sister Rosemary M. Wixom declared, “Because you are His child, He knows who you can become. He knows your fears and your dreams. He relishes your potential. He waits for you to come to Him in prayer. Because you are His child, you not only need Him, but He also needs you."

     One day in Florida, my companion and I went to an apartment complex inviting people to a community event the stake was hosting. Not one single person wanted to talk to us. The people of Jacksonville liked to play hide and seek with us, but we were always it. Everyone scatters and hides when the missionaries come out. We tried to contact people for a while, I was so unbelievably miserable and was already having an awful day - way past the end of my rope. I was ready to leave when we heard the sweetest voice behind us, "Hey ladies, what you handing out?" We turned to see the cutest little girl, probably only 6 or 7, anxiously coming up to us. We told her we were inviting people to church and her eyes immediately lit up. "Oooh, can I bring my mommy?!" Yes, please! "How old do you have to be? Where your church at?" I walked out of that apartment so overwhelmed with love and gratitude for that miracle. I wanted to teach that little girl all about her Savior and how she was so unbelievably precious, she was a daughter of God. It was amazing how the curiosity of a 6 year old taught me the biggest lesson about God's love. It was obvious that even though I was done, Heavenly Father wasn't done with me. 

     One of my favorite scriptures is in Doctrine & Covenants 61:36, "Be of good cheer, little children; for I am in your midst, and I have not forsaken you." 

     There have been so many times where it's very obvious that Heavenly Father has not forsaken me. Times when we're trying to teach a lesson when we see police lights outside and walk out to see an investigator's sister getting arrested on the front lawn, the police just look us and let us leave without getting involved in that craziness. When we felt prompted to not knock on a door, barely avoiding a pitbull attack. When you're having the worst day ever and a friend calls just to see how you're doing. Those are evidences that God sure as heck loves me.

     Henry B. Eyring has said of our relationship with Heavenly Father, “You were tutored by Him before you came into this life. He helped you understand and accept that you would have trials, tests, and opportunities perfectly chosen just for you. You learned that our Father had a plan of happiness to get you safely through those trials.”

     Now we're here on earth and we're scared, we're terrified, we don't know what to do. But we do know that we have a Father who will protect us and guide us back to Him. He loved us enough to teach and comfort us before we came to earth and He's not going to abandon us now.

     These are truths we have to hang onto. There are days when my anxiety and depression create a dark haze in my head. So dark that I give up on hope that usually would be so apparent and can't grasp any truths unless they're degrading towards myself. If someone comes up to me and compliments my outfit or whatever, I undoubtly, within the hour, will be sobbing in my room wondering what's wrong with me and why that person hates me so much. It doesn't make sense, but when the haze takes over, that's my reality. 

     So as part of my therapy, I have to have a list of truths readily available. Truths that mean something to my identity and that are strong enough to bring me back to reality. The majority of the list is of experiences where I’ve felt that God’s still there - feeling the Spirit in the temple, seeing rays of light through Florida's Spanish Moss letting me know God was there and His cause was worth it, getting an answer to a prayer asking if He loved me, etc. Even though the haze makes me feel alone and hopeless, these truths are so real and so strong, that they’ve literally saved my life in the worst of times.

     No matter how alone we may feel, He will not forsake us, because we are His child. 

     I know without a doubt that God's still there. I've had too many manifestations to not have a reason to believe it. I've been watched over and protected too many times to not know He's active in our lives. Because of God, all is well. We may be stuck in a haze, but as Romans 8:16 teaches us, the Spirit will tell us that we come from God. We are His.